her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
