Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
