They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
