really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
