So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
