The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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