I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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