Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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