Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
