I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
