i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
