no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
