It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize