she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
