That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
