If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
