I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
