I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
