don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
