when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
