Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
