You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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