I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
