Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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