on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
