How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
