I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
