Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
