I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
