I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
