hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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