I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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