I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
