we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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