the new term for farting is butt boxing.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
