The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
