new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
