ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
