Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
