the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
