So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
