i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
