he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
