i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
