Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
