I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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