through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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