just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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