dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
