I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize