Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
