I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
