if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
