I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Too much gin, very little bucket
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
