The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
