Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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